The guide to myspace girls

This is the result of an impending snow day, no L-word until 11:30,and nothing better to do.But more importantly,because we think that we are funny.
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Myspace girls.They seem to be right in front of you,but unttainable.Why??Cause you got no game son.Even if you do have game, they'll still be unttainable.Why??Cause you're a creep for tryin son,(rightfully so,)they're probably afraid to meet you son,and cause you drive a big white van son.

But,if you're ready to waste weeks of your life on something that is less than likely to happen..Than this is the guide for you.

PART ONE
Scoping out your victim-Don't waste time on "half a dimes",this will make it entirely too easy.
-Choose a victim with a public profile.This way,you can learn about your victim before the "add"
*Private profiles scream,"I want to be added,but want to seem difficult..when I'm really not"

PART TWO
The add
-Before "adding" you need to make yourself known,try adding her friends,and writing on their walls.Come off as very cool,and make it seem as if you have a purpose
*Example: "Hey..I don't want to fuck or anything.Just saying hi,cause I'm nice,and not your average."
~After doing so,they won't have any qualms about you being cool.In fact,they'll probably talk about you during their half dressed pillow fights.
~Remember,if you get in with the ugly friend..you're in with the hot friend.
-About three days later,you make your move!
*ADD HER,and leave a nice little note.
~Example:I saw you on (insert ugly friend's name here) top,and I couldn't help but notice what a pretty smile you have,AND you like (insert one of her interest's that you've stalked here)
~Now pay very close attention because this part is key.If she comments you or messages you back,DO NOT READ THE MESSAGE FOR ATLEAST TWO DAYS
-This will create anticipation for her,and she will want your d.

PART THREE
Second contact
-The way that you decide to reply to her is very important.If she messaged you,comment her.If she commented you,message her.
*This is a very sneaky technique, and she will never ever catch on.You might not even catch on,that's how sneaky it is.
~This lets her know early on that you will do things your way.No matter what.

PART FOUR
THE PHONE
-After a nice session of small talk,wait a few days.
*Find a way to make her want your number
~Examples: "I'm probably shooting for a star by asking you this but..do you think you could call me sometime", works a lot better than, "sup bitch,I got your dog.Call me if you want him back.I'm not going to feed him until you call me"
-Once she has your number make you sure have a glass of water besides you at all times.
*In order to assure that you have a Rick Astley smooth voice when she does call.
-Keep the first conversation brief
*The phone call is just a test,to make sure she is not actually a transvestite.Listen to her voice very carefully.
*If her voice does sound like that of a 42 year old man's then follow these next few steps with caution.If not,have a brief conversation and explain to her that you have to call your grandmother.


IN THE EVENT OF A TRANSVESTITE EMERGENCY
-DO NOT,I REPEAT DO NOT hang up the phone
*The chances that she is already outside of your window are very high.
-Make a lot of noise,and mutter about how you don't need another breakout "down there".
*If "she" asks,tell her that there's only a 2/2 chance of it coming back
-If step one does not work,tell "her" that you're tryna fuck.Tell her that you want a threesome actually,with that ugly friend.
*Also tell her about the toys you like to be used on you.
-If neither steps work and she has not hung up,accept the fact that you're screwed and patiently wait for her to open the window.
-Repeat,starting from part one
*Do not let one bad experience deter your potential success.
*Pay very close attention to your victim's pictures this time.

PART FIVE
Take it back to her space
-Comment every other picture,every other day.Say nice things, but throw in some things that will leave her wondering as well.
*Example "Wow very beautiful..reminds me of this one time.."
~Now she will know just how unpredictable you are.
-If she comments your pictures than you are good.Now she officially wants your d.
*From here,just tell her that you're tryna fuck.
-If she does not comment your pictures than repeat all steps with various other myspace girls,until they comment your pictures.
*If you are alternating myspace girls,keep them confined to messages.

PART SIX
What do I do now that I'm officially gettin them e-ho's?
-You wait for the guide to facebook girls.

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.N ari and Samir S

We ride septa does not claim any responsibility for the results of using this guide.